Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Oncology Ward & The Power of One. Tee-riffic Indeed.

Written on 9/15/11 6:10 pm.

There is something that happens, sitting here in this hospital. Sure there are joyous moments perhaps in obstetrics where new life greets us providing the sigh of relief after pained moments of labor paves the way. But here, here, there are whispers. Silence. The whizzing of the machine gently coaxing medicine into an IV. I feel anxiety in my throat. Borderline nauseous. The weight has settled in my chest.

My Mom is here. I posted news of her cancer, and since she has begun her battle. Just a couple weeks ago she was vibrant. Now she sleeps. She sounds weak, looks tired, and I know she's scared. Her aggressive chemotherapy treatments have quickly taken their toll and due to complications she is here. I type this at her bedside while I wait for her to wake up. The craziest thing is there's nothing I could do really but then there's everything I could do. Convinced one person really does make a difference I bring flowers and positive affirmations.

She likes to laugh. So I will do my best to bring the cheer and remind her who she is when it's hard to remember. I even wore my Sade shirt and sure enough she noticed it right away... :)

At last she woke up. These moments spent talking, listening, have made it all worth it. It is nice to hear her voice and let her tell me what is on her mind. One person can make all the difference. I'm not sure if it was her or me today and that's the beauty of how this works.. :) May you and all of your loved ones be blessed with great health and the biggest love to surround you. All of this, every moment, after all, is a gift.

**Thank God Mom has since been released. She continues her fight. Next, most likely radiation. Prayers for her and all those suffering with cancer would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading my blog. Blessings....

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Tee-riffic: Sade

When I was a little girl, my Mom introduced me to a beautiful singer and her name is Sade. I would borrow my mom's cassettes and listen to her music over and over again. Then fast forward to the greatest love I'd known before my husband. He reunited me with Sade and since then I have enjoyed her music in times of love, in times of struggle, in times of peace and relaxation, when taking a bath, meditating, or daydreaming. I have loved her so much. She has uplifted my spirits, coaxed me, made me feel sexy, and has set me free. When I found out she was going to be in concert, I just had to see her. I almost thought I wasn't going to be able to since while she was playing at The Staples Center near my home, I was in Malaysia to DJ. The one night I would be here, the tickets were way too much (not that she isn't worth every penny) still, it was almost $1,000.. but then my hubby had a brain blast and looked for tickets in Orange County so I did get to see her after all!! Not only did we pay much less, but the seats were better than what we would've gotten before, and it was a gift for my birthday!! Thank you baby. <3

I have seen quite a few concerts. Unforgettable shows. But I can honestly say seeing Sade has been a life changer. To sing her songs with her, it was mind blowing. She was beautiful, timeless, classy, and she sounded amazing. The sets were gorgeous, the song selection, divine. I'd never cried at a concert before. Never before her. 

John Legend opened and was truly stellar.  He sang his hits including an unreleased song called Dream that will be on his new album. I was so moved when he shared this with us and then he sang "Ordinary People" oh, my vision blurred and I thanked God because the last time I had heard that song, I was going through a tough time. I was hurting from the pain of my son's and my estrangement and him leaving my home.

Of course I couldn't help but think of you. I hope you know I take you with me wherever I go especially all places I find inspiring. It's a wonderful life and there are so many blessings waiting for us. I bet you didn't know you were at a Sade, John Legend concert but you were!! Hope you enjoy the vid, it was made with lotsa love.

Friday, September 9, 2011

So One of My Agents Unfollowed Me On Twitter! Tee-riffic, What Does That Mean?

Trolling the Internet late at night via my iPhone has become somewhat of a ritual these days. Not sure how healthy a habit it is but still, it's something that has me pass the time until I get tired. Last night I noticed one of my agents no longer follows me on Twitter and I actually felt weird about it. When I checked out who they follow it made sense, the list is short and it is comprised of people that are very close or a direct part of life. Still I couldn't help but feel a little sad, questioning myself, did I tweet too much? Was I not interesting enough?

Ahh, the mania that social media can encite. Once my logical side kicked in I realized that perhaps it is best after all, I tend to speak on many things not just acting and I also like to interact with people on Twitter. I can see how that may be a turn off to someone that follows few people.

This whole thing seems sillier and sillier the more I write about it yet I know I can't possibly be the only one who has had an experience like this. Tell me, have you ever had your feelings hurt by social media? Has there ever been a time you may have needed to talk yourself down after something Twitter, Facebook, or even myspace related happened?