Tuesday, May 31, 2011

29 Gifts in 29 Days

My darling friends, I have been up to something and I'm afraid to say I have kept it from you. My intention originally was to complete before sharing as it is important to me to always speak from experience but this is so unbelievable that I just cannot delay telling you about this any further.

On May 24, 2011 I read a book that has already changed my life. This book I came across by happenstance, hubby had invited me to a closing Borders and I went along not intending to buy because as much as I love to read I currently have approx 4 new books in the cue waiting for me. Then, I saw it and just like love at first sight I was not only attracted, I was committed. I not only bought the book, I was compelled to read it immediately and in a day I had consumed all of it. The very next day, on May 25th, I put those words into action and have been doing it ever since.

Today is my 7th day in this challenge. I have been blogging my experiences each day. On Friday, I will be posting those experiences here so that my personal blog will be up to date and you can follow along without having to worry about going to another site unless of course you want to. I am experiencing a magic and beauty that is life changing. A series of blessings that are undeniable. I am so humbled and I feel a sense of deep gratitude at the opportunity to let you in on this. If you have been reading my blog, you know how seriously I take the uplifting of myself and others. I have love for you and wish you all of the greatness I wish for myself.

With that said, let me introduce this amazing book to you 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life

May we all realize the gift we are to each other, the gifts we have to give, and the gifts we are destined to receive.  With love, Tee

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Yeah Mind, Get Outta My Mind!!!

Last night's sleep was terrible. I woke up in the middle of the night freezing and drenched in sweat. I woke up this morning in a daze straight out of weird dreams. Immediately negative thoughts pounced on me. Worry, judgements, confusion. Down the rabbit hole I went.

Lately it seems that when I really take a stance in my new life, my TODAY life (that I envision filled with abundance, purpose, positivity, possibility, philanthropy) I get attacked by negative thoughts and fear. It's like I'll have one or two amazing powerful days and then CRASH the next day or two I feel yucky. 

Trying to figure this out has been driving me nuts and seems to just exacerbate the problem. Then I read that I should allow myself to feel the emotions. Well what exactly does that look like? I am definitely feeling these emotions but gosh darn it I don't want to!!! Not only that but how long do these feelings get center stage?! Can anyone else relate to this??? 

Speaking with my husband really helped me this morning. Yes, he had sound advice to give but I also got a lot from myself because I tell you if you try to say out loud to someone else what you say to yourself a lot of the time it just seems plain dumb. If anyone else has experienced this please share because I have and it's unreal. 

I wish I had a remedy. I have been reading a lot and educating myself on these things but I cannot recommend anything right now as I am going through this myself currently. All I can say is that I WILL make it through this. If you are going through something YOU WILL make it through too. How about we lean on each other in the mean time? 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Today I Signed Up To Work For FREE & No, I'm Not A Sucker...

On this day I decided to step out and take action on a feeling I had a couple weeks ago. It started when hubby and I went for lunch and I noticed a thrift shop. That chance encounter had me going in the place, meeting the owner, and discussing philanthropy with him. I was invited to join their team. Three weeks later, I was back and ready to speak about this opportunity further.

This meeting went nothing like I expected. To be honest this whole encounter has been unexpected and yet, that is part of it's charm. I went in there ready to present. To show. To handle sh*t. What can I say? That's how I work.... Then I discovered a laid back approach and flow that I wasn't used to. There was an openness, a trust that is lovely. I was asked questions. I was listened to. I was presented with a lot of information and not very much at all. It was a whirlwind. I feel invigorated, excited, and challenged a bit. This is something completely different for me.

I am faced with the task of generating a website, marketing, online presence, and fund generation for them. I plan to do it in a week's time.

Merriam Webster defines philanthropist as "a wealthy person who gives money and time to help make life better for other people." 

This is what I see myself as. This is how I live my life. Right now my bank account disagrees with my new title. I say my bank account is a liar. Actually, I just think my bank account is taking some time to catch up to me... things move fast in my world. :D

No matter what I know I have more than enough. This notion is so powerful sometimes it's hard to believe even when it's happening right in front of me! I'm not going to say living this truth happens mindlessly for me yet but I will say that I recognize it and do my best to foster those feelings every day. It is no coincidence that blessings surround me and touch me. I had been so wrapped up in the how it recently dawned on me that I enjoy unexpected money and favor all over the place! Perhaps it's coming to me indirectly because there is something else I have to learn in the area of giving and receiving. Either way, I'm a wiling student.

Is there something you are wanting to do but taking your time on? What are some of the ways you feel you better the world?

Friday, May 20, 2011

My Best Friend's Wedding, Let Love Rule

This girl is one of my best friends...

I've known her for years and whether we are in constant or non constant communication, the mutual respect love and support never waivers. So when she asked me to be in her wedding I was overjoyed and said yes never considering for a minute what it might entail.. there have been ups and downs. There have been different emotions. I'd also add that there were moments of discomfort.

There were hair. Nail. Makeup. And shoe mandates. There was a looong wait in heels on paved rocks with no seats. I wondered if this was all normal or if my friend had turned into a bridezilla. With no point of reference, I left it as a toss up. Innocent 'til proven guilty right?

Then again...

The beautiful romantic location with so much whimsy. The delicious food. The sounds. The celebration of my friends love and brand new wifey status. The good feeling that comes from being there for your friends.

Have you ever been in a wedding? What out of your ordinary thing have you done for a buddy?

I say, cheers to all of them.... <3

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Don't Blog With Your Mouth Full!!

Italian dry salami. Kettle cooked jalapeno chips. Crunchy, yummy, oh so good yet totally in the way of my writing process. Aaargh!! As I attempt to load my next mouthful and not lose my train of thought I notice I seem to have nailed down the quick bite / fingertip napkin swipe. YES! Nasty keyboards, not my thing.

Where oh where is the technology that will magically wi-fi my thoughts onto my computer screen. Steve Jobs? Apple wizards?? Alas, I digress.....

I felt this blog title was perfect not only to illustrate my very immediate situation but also to address the message at large which has to do with all of the things I'm currently working on. I have thoughts of taking on completely new ventures. There's so much. It's like my mouth is full of a yummy morsel, there's more on my full plate, and I wanna chat and chew at the same time! These ventures will include my artistic heart but my artistry wouldn't be the main focus. Making it all new, new, new. I consider this a tremendous breakthrough because I have been struggling with where my arts could fit in to my life today. Everything around me has been changing and I've been feeling called to do something more.

I can't reveal everything now but I can say that after modifying my vision board yesterday I woke up today ready to take charge. I tackled my items with purpose. I signed up for various volunteer activities. I discussed a new plan I have with my husband. I asked a question that lead to revealing a little of what I'm thinking of to my roommate. Then while making lunch, an idea... After coming back to my desk, 4 more.

It is my belief that we are all beautiful divine beings up to amazing things as we interact with each other through our lives. I believe the circumstances that surround us are miracle filled. I believe that we create our own destiny. That thoughts are things and that work and faith are the arms that carry those thoughts out into the world. I also believe that it doesn't have to be hard.

With that said, there will be more coming, so please stay tuned. Is there something new you're thinking of taking on?

Monday, May 9, 2011

You Owe Me Money AND You're a Douchebag

I DJ'ed regularly for a company called Metropark. They were a boutique chain selling men's and women's fashions. They are now bankrupt. I had an outstanding invoice with them and I am not going to be paid for it. This is not fun news to hear. No one likes to work for free. Even I, who loves giving to people and organizations have the same expectation we all do which is if this is a job then I am going to be paid.

What brought me to write this blog is not the fact I am not going to get my money. It was how I was treated when I called to follow up on my invoice and to figure out if something else can be arranged. 

A condescending man had the audacity to cut me off while I was speaking repeatedly, he offered to refer me to a website where I could learn about bankruptcy, he told me he didn't have the authority to help me, he claimed he wasn't even in payroll, he also flat out said "well, none of you DJ's are getting paid." 

Maybe all of this is true. Maybe he was stressed. Maybe he feels like a little maggot having to represent and stick it out for a company that hasn't made good out in the world and obviously has a lot of people upset at them right now. Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

How about, Maybe he doesn't have to be such a douchebag???

I'm not gonna bitch and moan about the money. There are people that are out of a job because of this and worse. I feel for every single one of these people. I get where my invoice is in the big scheme of this. However, I am still a person. A human being. I don't deserve to be dumped on & THAT is where my problem lies. A little goes a long way. A little kindness, understanding, truth, decency. 

As I continue my path of enlightenment I will someday be above these situations. Like Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi. The type of being that realizes what's going on around them but doesn't get affected. I'm glad that my moments of funk don't last as long as they once did and I am able to see the other person's side. I am also proud to say I didn't raise my voice, get nasty, or stoop to his level. I simply stated how I felt they could be more human about the situation and then I ended the phone call. These are advancements. Right now though, I have to say I was affected. Metropark Jesse you're #1 and you can go ahead and imagine what gesture I'm using to illustrate that. 

Effff you dude, effff YOU.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Losing All of My Weight.

Take it.
Take it all....

I find myself saying that more and more to my previous ways of being. I've opened a Pandora's Box. I didn't realize it but it's been done and now I'm left shedding all of my extra weight. Everything.

The life I once knew, the direction I was going in, the things I deemed important. They have all been and continue to be challenged. From weight I carried in my body, to weight-y relationships. From endless lists of digital items, to material possessions I once cherished. It's all just going, going, GONE. Most of it feels natural, thank God. After all, I have chosen this. Granted I didn't know how far it would go but I have chosen this. Yet, there are moments I discover ties to things I didn't know I had and relationships fall away that I didn't intend to lose.

Last week, I donated 85% of my possessions.

As the filled truck rolled away I felt a moment of sadness. The memories of the times I had spent with my family and our stuff flashed by in my mind. Actual tears welled up in my eyes. Then with a swallow I was overjoyed. Excited. Grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to be able to do something like that. Grateful to be so blessed. Happy at the thought of what new person or family would benefit and create memories of their own with our things.

This is what housed our stuff before:

Here's the after:

I can't even begin to describe all of the benefits I have received throughout this process. It isn't over yet and there are tough moments. Not to include that would be dishonest. I wonder at times what people will think of my posts, they're all so "Eat Pray Love." I know. I get it. I worry my thoughts aren't mainstream enough to be cool and then I just keep jumping off the cliffs.

So far I have felt lighter, freer, more enlightened and connected with something much bigger and way more important than anything I've ever experienced before. I have felt strength with each passed threshold and so much more grateful for each wondrous person, place, or thing, that makes the cuts.

If you'd like to make a difference with some of your items or if you feel weighed down by stuff, people, places, situations, there is a way out. You too can release. One thing at a time. Whatever your pace and process is, it's perfect. Just take the steps when you're ready. My favorite organization to donate things to is The Salvation Army. They make it easy and really help people. Although, this last time I did want to ship things to Africa as well. I just didn't find out about a place. <--If you know of a place please let me know for future reference. :)

May you realize the blessing in you each moment. Thank you for being a part of my world. <3