I got three letters for ya, S E X

This morning I woke up incredibly aroused. It was the kind of feeling that occurs right before, or right after great sex. I don't remember exactly what I dreamt. All I know is I took a long time for me to leave my sleep and enter the world again, and when I did, the feeling was overwhelming.

As a married woman, sex should be no problem. It should be like water in the fridge. Available at any time and yet, that isn't always the case. This is when I thought of you, of us in general, and how we handle this stuff. I am sure we have all had moments when we were left wanting. Waiting for that release, touch, moment. Wishing for sex.

So what's the best way to go about this? The biggest problem for me is the moment it becomes cerebral. I'm a highly analytical Virgo. I think a lot about every thing. All day long. The moment I have to think about sex, I'm over it. I want to be taken away. Lead. Shown. Sex for me isn't in the brain. It's in the heart, it's in the feeel of it. It's not that I don't know what to do or how to do it. It's just that in my day to day life I call a lot of the shots. I designed it that way. Sex is one area, I'd like to relinquish control.

I think a lot of women are like me. A lot of us aren't thrown into orgasmic fits by just looking at something. A lot of us can and will rock the worlds of our partners but don't want to call the shots in bed. I mean, outside of a porn star or dominatrix, how many women have you known or spoken to that do?

Perhaps this is all too much. Too personal. I apologize in advance if it seems left field but Tee-riffic is about living our best life and the various paths taken in experiencing that. I'll be damned if sex is not part of it. I wondered, how many other women feel like me? How many men?

This morning, I tried to convey my aroused state to my hubby. I told him. He then seemed perplexed and more concerned at what I could've dreamt about. It was like an episode of "Up All Night." Real. Mundane. Comical. Slightly frustrating.

What could I have done differently? What is a way, we can convey what we like or want without running the whole session? Hurting our partners feelings? Or turning it into, GASP, a chat session?

In all fairness, I am sure there have been many times I have left my husband wanting. This is not about him being a problem. This is about starting a dialogue about what we like and what we want. So then we could start to get it.

Sexy dream or not.

Tee-riffic: Awkward

Say you're up for an opportunity alongside someone you really like, care about, or even love. You get the opportunity. Everything goes well. As a matter of fact it is quite literally the answer to some of your prayers. Naturally you are feeling amazing. High. Exhilarated. 

Until you aren't. Your person didn't get it. As a matter of fact their experience was quite the opposite of yours. It was bad. They feel bad. Now, so do you. Shit.

Awkward. Now what? Not only is your moment completely taken away but you genuinely feel bad. You're on console mode. You mean every word, but it sucks. You wish your person would have gotten a chance too. And as sad as you are for your person, you're happy for you and want to give this blessing it's full light. 

I wish I knew what to say and how to make this better. This happened to me today and it was further exacerbated this evening when the situation came up again while speaking to a friend. I love my person. I'm sorry they didn't get it. But I also feel they should buck up, these things happen all the time. Remember my magical day as an Actor last post? I didn't hear anything from any of those opportunities. I could sit and feel bad or defeated but I don't. Who knows?! I may or may not get any of them. I had fun and most importantly I tried. There have been countless times I have been in the presence of this same person and they have gotten praise or opportunities that I didn't get. I didn't make that mean I am not good enough. Why on Earth would I do that? Why would any of us? We are all amazing wonderful beings. 

Cheers to that. Cheers to you. Cheers to my person who is still amazing. And by golly, cheers to me for getting this lovely blessing today. I am excited and super grateful. Thank you God. I may not have let it shine bright, but I have been beaming about it. All day.