Tee-riffic: Sade

When I was a little girl, my Mom introduced me to a beautiful singer and her name is Sade. I would borrow my mom's cassettes and listen to her music over and over again. Then fast forward to the greatest love I'd known before my husband. He reunited me with Sade and since then I have enjoyed her music in times of love, in times of struggle, in times of peace and relaxation, when taking a bath, meditating, or daydreaming. I have loved her so much. She has uplifted my spirits, coaxed me, made me feel sexy, and has set me free. When I found out she was going to be in concert, I just had to see her. I almost thought I wasn't going to be able to since while she was playing at The Staples Center near my home, I was in Malaysia to DJ. The one night I would be here, the tickets were way too much (not that she isn't worth every penny) still, it was almost $1,000.. but then my hubby had a brain blast and looked for tickets in Orange County so I did get to see her after all!! Not only did we pay much less, but the seats were better than what we would've gotten before, and it was a gift for my birthday!! Thank you baby. <3

I have seen quite a few concerts. Unforgettable shows. But I can honestly say seeing Sade has been a life changer. To sing her songs with her, it was mind blowing. She was beautiful, timeless, classy, and she sounded amazing. The sets were gorgeous, the song selection, divine. I'd never cried at a concert before. Never before her. 

John Legend opened and was truly stellar.  He sang his hits including an unreleased song called Dream that will be on his new album. I was so moved when he shared this with us and then he sang "Ordinary People" oh, my vision blurred and I thanked God because the last time I had heard that song, I was going through a tough time. I was hurting from the pain of my son's and my estrangement and him leaving my home.

Of course I couldn't help but think of you. I hope you know I take you with me wherever I go especially all places I find inspiring. It's a wonderful life and there are so many blessings waiting for us. I bet you didn't know you were at a Sade, John Legend concert but you were!! Hope you enjoy the vid, it was made with lotsa love.

So One of My Agents Unfollowed Me On Twitter! Tee-riffic, What Does That Mean?

Trolling the Internet late at night via my iPhone has become somewhat of a ritual these days. Not sure how healthy a habit it is but still, it's something that has me pass the time until I get tired. Last night I noticed one of my agents no longer follows me on Twitter and I actually felt weird about it. When I checked out who they follow it made sense, the list is short and it is comprised of people that are very close or a direct part of life. Still I couldn't help but feel a little sad, questioning myself, did I tweet too much? Was I not interesting enough?

Ahh, the mania that social media can encite. Once my logical side kicked in I realized that perhaps it is best after all, I tend to speak on many things not just acting and I also like to interact with people on Twitter. I can see how that may be a turn off to someone that follows few people.

This whole thing seems sillier and sillier the more I write about it yet I know I can't possibly be the only one who has had an experience like this. Tell me, have you ever had your feelings hurt by social media? Has there ever been a time you may have needed to talk yourself down after something Twitter, Facebook, or even myspace related happened?

Tee-riffic: International Baby!

Goodness gracious I am feeling so blessed, so happy, so excited. Life is good and God is GREAT! So many of my dreams are coming true and I am just over the moon about it all. For some time but especially this year I have been dreaming about travel. I have been blessed with quite a bit throughout the United States. I've been to some places in Mexico and got my 1st and only passport stamp to date when I went to the Bahamas but my visions have been set on going International.

Next week is my birthday and I have gotten the loveliest gift. I have been booked to DJ in Malaysia!!! I will literally be DJing the night before my birthday and I can't help but feel that this is such a special gift. No need to worry, all of you are invited. I'll take you in my heart and be sure to capture as much of the goodness as I can to share with you. I am so intrigued with all of it. Everything about this trip will be new to me, I've never been on a flight that long, my lay over is in Hong Kong, the food, the currency, the sights, the sounds, I can't wait to drink it all in! Just thinking about it fills me up with giddy and I don't take off until Monday!

There was a time in my life when having a car seemed big, let along thinking about planes and passports and the world beyond L.A. As a very young mommy there were so many times I felt on the sidelines, many times I sacrificed for my family. Sometimes things are tough that's true but if there is something you dream about, keep going! Believe, always believe because you can and will do it. Open yourself up to the magic and blessings all around you. I promise you that there is a big heaping bunch of goodness with your name on it. So keep on reaching for it. I'm right here, cheering you on!

I would like to thank Johnnie Walker Malaysia for this opportunity. This Black Circuit event is going to be amazing! Find out more about it HERE. Below is my shout out to Malaysia.

Tee-riffic: My Big Baby, Las Vegas, & Feeling Rich.

Thursday was wonderful, my son came over and we had a visit that lasted 5 hours.

It had been months since I'd seen him last. The gist of what had happened referenced here. A call the night before his visit finally put it all out on the table. It was amazing to listen, talk, and share. The biggest revelation was seeing that God had what's best for all of us in mind. Surely I carry that in my heart but to see it materialize and recognize it, that's an amazing feeling.

Tomorrow my baby starts his senior year in high school. Funny thing is he's not the only one growing up. When I had kids I was a kid myself. I remember hearing time would pass quickly. I couldn't even imagine that then. Now here I am, in a childless household with a life full of never before's and first times. Part of the reason I couldn't write this sooner was because of a whirlwind trip to Las Vegas.

I just got back last night and found myself eating out for breakfast today, going to the movies, and then shopping. What is this magical life???

A lot of us have heard the adage "one day at a time." When you're in the thick of things, hearing that can be annoying. Or maybe like me, you relate that saying to addicts fighting drug addiction. I can tell you by experience that magnificent things do happen one day at a time. At one point I had 3 jobs, was taking business classes at Pierce College, and raising my two babies alone. A diary entry recalled me getting to work late after dropping my kids off at school, praying for good money from the double shift I'd signed up for. Turns out I had promised to take them to Universal Studios and needed to make up some rent money I spent in keeping my word. One day at a time. All of these are reasons why I look at the world with wonder. I've lived through miracles, I've seen God work in my life. 

If you are in the middle of something, don't lose hope. Keep going. There will be a time you look back proudly at the trail you blazed behind you. As for me, I'm slightly older than a high school senior yet it turns out I too am graduating, and I'm throwing my cap in the air, ready for this new life, right now.

Tee-riffic: Weekend Gift

Thank you to every single person that sent my Mom and Grandma prayers after reading my last blog post. It was touching to hear from so many of you. I really appreciate every kind word and thought sent.

Entering this weekend, I had some private time scheduled. My husband was going to be busy with long days of shooting a BBoy event on both days so I let myself really take in that privacy.. I slept in, did research, ate what I wanted, took time to create, spoke to my Mom on the phone and my amazing friend Min. I did some "work" too, it's in quotes because really, it was a joy. I got to record a promo for a DJ gig I have coming up.  I also found some new inspiration.

It has been really nice to take it easy like this. Sometimes all the answers are in the stillness, the doing nothing. Isn't life funny that way??  Cheers to the quiet moments, hope you had a weekend gift too. xo

Cancer.

I knew when she called something was wrong. I could tell in her tone that the news wasn't going to be good. She requested a conference call my brothers, me, and her. She wanted to let us know what happened at the oncologist's office.

My Mother has stage 4 throat cancer. Surgery is out of the question. Aggressive chemotherapy and radiation are on the menu. There'll be a couple ports, losing of hair, a feeding tube, and then what she will face after surviving the treatment, the loss of the ability to make saliva and experience taste.

Fuck..

I'm listening just listening. Then I ask my questions. I don't break down. There's talk of an advance directive. She laughs & tries to make jokes while explaining this to us until she reaches the subject of her mom's offer to help. Her Mom, my Grandma, just got diagnosed with cancer of her own. It's in the blood. Multiple myeloma.

There is a moment when I crack a little. Reminding her to focus on the positive, give herself the best fighting chance, she won't be alone through this. After the call the tears come. Putting myself in her shoes, imaging how one could handle this news. I feel sad. I feel scared.

My Mom and I never had a relationship. There were glimpses when I was a little girl but after 9 and my parents divorce everything changed. So many crazy things happened, I've long considered writing a book about it. My grandmother on the other hand was the only female in my life. The constant. My teacher and advisor. Now they both have cancer and soon will be fighting for their lives while the "medicine" alone puts them on the brink of death.

There is nothing Tee-riffic about this. She won't be able to make saliva. Or taste. Fuck. I never even consider that being a possiblity. I am so grateful for my health right now but why does that gratitude seem so inappropriate?

I'd like to say my superwoman attitude kicked in and I dove right in offering to help as caregiver. I didn't. I need time, prayer, and the chance to do what I know I can for her right now. I'll be there, I'm just not sure how close I can get to all this. All I know is that life is precious, true love is forever, health is a gift, and everything can change in an instant.

If I could be so bold as to lean on you right now, I ask for prayers in their honor. To those who have done it, thank you so much.

Blessings and the greatest health to all of you. Always.

Tee-riffic: Yes Darling, Let's Do Lunch

Hello!! In my home office now, chewing ice and freezing cause the air is on. Giddy from life, love, and the way things turn out if you do what you gotta do and then let them happen. I have plenty of projects I will be announcing this week ( DJ & Actor related) in addition some opportunities that have me over the moon happy. Last two days were funky, then POW clarity. It all came to a head when I went on my errands for today...

First, went with my hubby to Central Casting. It is a place for those in Los Angeles to register for extra work on sets. Hubby acted some as a child but is re surging his career and starting from scratch. Finding myself there was surreal as it brought me back to the struggle of acting in the beginning. The process? Long and arduous. We didn't get seen today because the line was too long and I had an appointment at 1:00.

From there, we drove off to my appointment. A scheduled lunch with my agent. At which time, I was able to enjoy delicious healthy food, amazing uplifting conversation, outdoor dining on the patio in shaded warmth. I love my agent. Shoot, I love my agency. Before I was with them I had been signed three other times. I had even had a couple managers. Things didn't happen instantly, some hard decisions were made. Some sacrifices too. I shed some tears. There was even a time I contemplated quitting. Now I find myself doing lunch with my agent, driving around town with my husband, enjoying freedom, health, love, and the delicious blessings that I believe are bestowed on me from God.

I am a person just like you. Living the best life I can create for myself. Here's what I know works.

If there is anything you wish to do, do it.
In the middle of something you love but facing fear & uncertainty? Hang in there.
Getting the feeling you should make some life changes? Make it happen.
You have everything you need right now to usher in positivity and goodness. So, take action!


And then, for heaven's sake darlings, let's do lunch.

<3